Are You Speaking With Authenticity Or Listening To The Victim?

Have you ever been in a conversation which required your response and your authenticity didn’t come through?  A two-way conversation is based on listening and providing feedback.  When you’re in a conversation, you have to listen and respond with support or understand if this is drama.

There are times we respond with how to support someone and that is not at all what they want.  Remember the Peanuts cartoons where Charlie Brown is telling Snoopy and his response is “Wah, Wah, Wah.”  Charlie Brown just wanted a sounding board and wasn’t waiting for Snoopy’s response.

There Are Two Sides To Every Relationship

Do you think you know someone and then, when they are in an emotional moment, you freeze because

Who will you take with you on your next trip, Adventure or Curiosity?

Who will you take with you on your next trip, Adventure or Curiosity?

Adventure loves being bold and exciting…

Remember when you were a child and were told, you were going on an adventure?  Your eyes became as big as saucers just thinking about the adventure.  It didn’t matter how much your parents or grandparents shared about the trip, you let your imagination go wild dreaming and asking lots of questions.  Vividly, you were on a roller coaster ride to all the places you would go and, what you would experience.  Remember how you felt when you were on your adventure?  It was all about your imagination and being exciting and bold.

Do you still share this excitement about new adventures?  Are there places you’ve wanted to visit?  Are you looking forward to a new destination from your dreams, maybe even from childhood.

Curiosity has a desire to learn and be inquisitive…

When you plan any time off, do you have a sense of curiosity? Do you plan your trips to visit new cultures, have conversations with the locals, or even plan your activities around what the locals do, and where you can enjoy the local cuisine?  Yes, by openly being curious, you will have an awesome experience to somewhere you’ve never been before.  Even if you don’t like the food, it the newness of doing something out of the ordinary.  Adventurous means excitement, a very unusual experience, being bold, risky and an undertaking with an uncertain outcome.  Are you really adventurous?  Do you stop and ask yourself, do I want to go on an adventure?  When we step outside our normal routine, we can add a new experience that enriches our life.  It could be as simple as going to a town you’ve never been before and stopping at the local library, local coffee shop or market to see what’s posted on local activity boards to take advantage of what’s happening.  You’ll remember that stop because it added a new dimension to your trip.  Just think, you could really enjoy yourself!!

How often do you pay attention to the route to work or notice what is going on around you?

I know when I’ve been a passenger, I look around and observe what’s changed around me in a familiar place.  Even when you’re the driver, you can pay attention to local construction or new traffic patterns.  When you’re on autopilot and in your own world, you miss a lot of the richness to stir your curiosity and experience a new adventure.

Curiosity is the interesting, quirky, inquisitive quality that provides the desire to learn.  Curiosity stirs our spirit to see what we haven’t before.  Adventure provides the place to investigate a new space and discover new facts and even be able to see what we have before with new childlike eyes.

When you’re planning a day with an open calendar, add your curiosity to see what you may have overlooked.  Bring a sense of adventure to your day to discover what may have been in front of you and was selectively invisible.  Create a new adventure with the curiosity of how much treasure you’ll find.  Just taking a few pictures with your phone will remind you of the specialness of this new place and when you are back home, you’ll daydream about your adventure.  You’ll be surprised when you are captivated to go on another adventure and go exploring just for the fun and curiosity of it.

Use your imagination and go where Adventure and Curiosity take you

When you bring these qualities into your day, you’ll see your surroundings with less rules and boundaries.  When you look for adventure, you are open to exploring rather than going through the same motions that feel restrictive and b-o-r-i-n-g.  Adventure provides pleasure to enjoy what’s around you and adds spice around you.  Think of spice as the sights, smells, and noises of your curiosity on your adventure.

Likewise, when you disregard your curiosity, you shut down your opportunity to be open to learning and expanding your heart and your life.

Where will tomorrow bring you?

Chances are there’s an adventure just outside your door that you’ve been putting on the back burner because work is consuming your life.  You can’t recapture the time lost from all the hours you’ve worked.  NOW is the time to be open and discover where your curiosity will take you.

Kaleidoscope Focus is a coaching practice that specializes in supporting professional women who work too much and want to recapture the life they’ve put on the back burner because of the demands of work.  Have you put your life, adventure, love and fun on the back burner because work got in the way?  Contact

If you’d like to learn more about her services, schedule a free one hour “THIS IS YOUR TIME,” call.  Her calendar link is: .

Do You See Your Goals In A Crystal Ball?

Have you ever felt your goal setting was like looking in to a crystal ball and just beyond your reach?  It’s difficult to project what will happen over the next twelve months especially when your objectives are handed down to you as your role is part of a larger vision.

Do you set goals that you will grow from?

Think about the last goal that you set and had a huge “aha”.  Did you know the overall picture, or just your portion?  When you understand how your part is critical to the success of the project, it’s easier to set a goal.  Are your personal goals aligned with your professional goals?  It sounds easier to say when you’re at the top.  When you see the bigger picture, everything you create rests on your vision.

Will you be the master of your expertise?

Yes, everyone wants to be acknowledged for their expertise.  It starts with how you desire to expand your knowledge to the person you desire.  Mastery comes from repeatedly growing your expertise by performing and continually building more skills.  Every goal is an opportunity for growth.

You can change the rules and be bold, or accept the fact when you are the master of your career, you will take jobs you won’t like and you learn from experience to be more selective and more clear on each role you take.

You will have at least seven careers in your lifetime!  Not just changes in positions or jobs, but seven CAREERS.  Extreme as that sounds, it’s the economic and technological changes that have significant influence on the jobs available.

What is the point in all this?

There is no crystal ball.  Push yourself because you are the only one that can to achieve the goals you desire.  Create the perfect job and and align your personal and professional goals because that is what matters.  When they don’t align, you will not push yourself to achieve and be the master of your expertise.

You are your own master of personal development.  It isn’t the leader who determines how you should expand your mastery.  Take responsibility for what interests you.  When you step out with new ideas—you’ll see if your personal growth areas challenge you professionally as well.  Do what you love because your personal and professional goals will align when you do.

If you’re someone that doesn’t set goals, why not?  It is your desire and craft that sets you apart.

When you start your career, you are likely treated like the apprentice or intern.  Today you have many sources of training and technology to gain additional mastery in virtually any areas you want.

You can proclaim to be the person that doesn’t set goals.  The truth is when you set a SMART goal with (specifics, measurable, accountable, realistic and time-based) write it down and see it, you will not only 50% more likely to achieve, but achieve earlier than your goal timeline.

There are lessons learned in creating goals, you have a record in your brain of what worked and when it didn’t work.  The tweaking to achieve success.  Goals can be pie in the sky objectives, but research studies show when goals are established—you are more driven and successful to stretch yourself goal after goal.

Inspiration Is Unleashing Your Internal Fireworks

Have you ever met someone that when they spoke, you felt fireworks?  The beautiful message they delivered felt like it was unleashed from their heart.  Their words of inspiration were felt down to your toes and visually, you could see the words on a billboard or across the sky.

I had a recent conversation with a Facebook friend I’ve never met face to face.  I saw her beautiful inspirational message and it resonated with me.  We have mutual friends and I reached out to speak with her.  I was captivated by the enthusiasm and simplicity in her messages and her joy.  When I asked her what she did; she’s a busy woman.  She has two businesses, one is a technical and creative business creating websites, graphic designs and images, and the other, she speaks to women’s networking groups and children’s groups about internal inspiration.  Since I had not met her face-to-face, she reminded me she’s handicapped and is in a wheelchair.  After her disclosure, I was more impressed with her message of inspiration.

Have you met someone who inspired you and their impact was beyond their physical presence?

This week, I am reminded each year of Martin Luther King’s birthday of his inspiration and hope to the country.  His message was full of encouragement and respect.  He was a pastor; his public persona was to share his dream and a legacy for the future of his children to make the world a better place for the next generation with justice, equality and freedom for all.  He left a legacy that impacted millions.  His desire was to live in a harmonious world.  His vision was his “why” and the force driving his actions.  His “I have a Dream,” speech was delivered when I was eight years old.  I remember being in grade school and attending an assembly program in the school auditorium where were watched the speech on a black and while television rolled on a cart to the stage for the several hundred children to watch.  The TV picture was small in comparison to today’s mega 40”+ TV sets. Today, I’m still in awe how this speech left an impression because we were little elementary school children.  We saw the broadcast as part of our civic studies class and learning about this powerful speech that was in the news.   This speech was a learning lesson for years to come as I understood how powerful this was as I grew older.  There has never been another individual in the civil rights movement as inspiring as Dr. King.  It’s ironic his message is a pillar of our 21 century history, almost five decades later.

We lost another inspirational icon at the end of last year, John Glenn. Glenn landed on the moon and was breaking the barrier of what’s possible in space as the US explored outside the boundaries of Earth.   Again, I remember hearing about this space walk in school, and remembering, many boys in my class saying they too wanted to be an astronaut!

We have many role models today that inspire and have messages of perseverance and encouragement in their lives.  A few weeks’ ago, the passing of Debbie Reynolds, an actress in when starting her career landed an acting role where she was dancing with one of the best dancers in the industry, Gene Kelly.  When interviewed about this iconic role that changed her career, she said as a young actress, she was intimidated about the role and “danced her legs and feet off” to master the dancing proficiency she had to achieve for the role.  She did what was “required.”  Her role in the movie, “Singing in the Rain,” became one of the scenes that launched her acting and dancing accomplishments.   Over the course of her life, she’s had both emotional trauma and financial challenges. She was inspired to create a life for her family, including daughter Carrie Fisher and son, Todd Fisher whom she raised as a single parent.

Yes, it’s easy to say that celebrities can inspire others because they are in the limelight.  Some celebrity followers say that celebrities desire this visibility, and the truth is the celebrity is more vulnerable always under the public’s eye.  For those of us, who are inspired by non-celebrities, what do you do to inspire others.  There are everyday people or “heroes” that inspire others.  It’s the child that wins the heart of a senior citizen in the grocery store, or the pet owner that takes their pet to the veteran’s hospital or children’s hospital to provide a respite from the patient’s pain or illness.   Those are the ones who live their lives with purpose and have insights of wisdom to share.  Who are your every day heroes that inspire you and make an impression?   Heroes that have their personal mission and want to improve the lives of their family, their community or their corner of the globe, to solve a problem with their time and energy or make life better for others.

Everyone has a mission of how they can make a difference.

What’s yours and how can you be more vocal and visible in accomplishing your personal mission?

The next time you “notice” someone who catches your eye, acknowledge it, and say hello or write a word or two on how to connect.  This week you can connect with others that inspire you in small ways to make your day better.  It can be using a smile to brightens someone’s day, making eye contact, or by stop texting while out in public, and savoring the moment.   If you feel you can’t, don’t have the time, or don’t have the same skills as others, dig deeper within, your spark of inspiration is just waiting for you to let it shine.  Someone may be trying to connect with you to make you smile and savor the moment!

If you’d like to discover or unleash your spark of inspiration deep within, I will help you release what may be dimming your spark with a belief breakthrough session.  The session takes about 20 minutes. It will not hurt and will enable you to move forward with a new belief to enjoy yourself and accomplish your goals this year.   Here’s the link to my calendar:

Or you can send me an email at:  480-800-9155

 Rumi’s Legacy is Alive Today.

What is new about 2017?

Why does it feel like the time off for the holidays was so long ago. The new year brings expectations for newness and many times, the possibility of uncharted paths.  Co-workers are starting new projects and for others, it’s business as usual.  Some colleagues have the attitude, “What’s going to happen next?”

Rumi, a 13th century poet, said “Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.”  The quote was said 800 years ago, ironically it fits today perfectly.

Rumi was a mystic and spiritual master.  He traveled the globe from his home in Persia to Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Iran, Syria, and Turkey over 2,500 miles in his life.  How did his life so long ago create a global stir?  Rumi is loved in the US today.  He meditated and shared his life experiences in poetry.  He devoted his poetry writing to everyday imagery through the meaning of love, joy and ecstasy.  His writing represents what it means to “be alive.”

Today as you look around and have the expectation of an unknown path, do you feel satisfied with where you are and what the year represents?  Or do you take each day one day at a time?

When you’re either not enjoying your work or struggling with a personal life situation, one life situation carries over to the other portion of your life. This happens when your life is out of balance.  The disconnect is between your values and your responsibilities, whether work or at home.  This out of balance feeling can be attributed to a lack of clarity or challenge in your life.  The disconnect can be your overall health, sleep or lack of restful sleep, eating habits, energy level, creativity, curiosity, spirituality, exercise, hobbies, communication and connectedness or just not enjoying where you are in life.

When you focus on the areas that are not fulfilling, you can feel the release of imbalance or discomfort disappear. This is exactly what Rumi was referring to, “the balance of holding on or letting go.”

I specialize in releasing the discomfort, because this is the part of you that doesn’t serve you.  By scheduling a belief breakthrough session, we can identify what you’re holding on to and let it go.  To schedule a 30-minute session, here’s the link to schedule.

When your life is in balance, you’ll notice what you love about your life and appreciate the joy it brings.  The joy lasts longer when your life is in balance.  You may even experience periods of your life when you take for granted what you enjoy. It is the simple conversations, connections, and reflections of our work or home routine that provide the greatest joy. When they are not joyful, it’s time to reach within to see how we can let go of what isn’t working to let go and make a change.

When you identify what provides feelings of love and gratitude, you will also be able to experience a higher ability to love.  You may not have these feelings daily but once you’re able to reflect and savor these feelings, they will elevate you when you’re not feeling so positive.  When your experiences feel like you’re on top of the world, you can appreciate them and with frequency, experience them more often.

For more about how you experience change and the work and life balance, look for my newsletter on Thursday, January 12, “Tolerations” Take a Toll.”

Last year, we saw a more divided country as a result of the election and there’s a call for resolve across the US.  When we pull the curtain to see into 2017, we’ll undoubtedly see more changes with the new President-elect.  Individually, we can start by looking into what we individually want and feeling more calm, compassion and love within.  With all the changes the year will bring, it is up to each one of us to speak up with compassion to raise the peaceful vibration on the planet.  Rumi’s legacy of wisdom “holding on can be more painful than letting go” and that life in balance brings us to that loving, peaceful place.